June 8 - A Boy's Best Friend is His Mother

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On June 8, 1895, Matilda Dunbar in Dayton wrote a forlorn letter to her son Paul Laurence Dunbar in Indianapolis, where he was serving as temporary editor for an African American newspaper called The Indianapolis World.

I received your kind letter and was glad to hear from you.  I am having very good health just now but I am lonesome.  I should like to come and see you and my sister.  I am trying to make the very best of things I can, but it is very hard for one to be alone.  I sent you some roses and hope they will be nice when you get them.
 

Matilda Dunbar to Paul Laurence Dunbar, June 8, 1895.  Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 1).

Paul was 22 years old and extremely close to his mother.  Paul's parents divorced when he was young and Matilda had raised him by herself.  After he gained recognition as a writer, Paul spent more time away from home, and this was difficult for both of them.  In 1897, Paul was in England and he wrote to Matilda suggesting that she join him there.

I am quite well at present.  I think I told you in my last letter that if everything went as well as it has started that I should send for you and Alice to come and go to housekeeping here.  Living is very cheap here, although some things are dearer than in America.  We can get a furnished house for £40 or £50 a year and clothes are dirt cheap.  It is very possible that I shall lecture here during the fall and winter and in that event I should wish you to be here.  But this may prove a dream so set your heart on nothing, but wait and hope.
 

Paul Laurence Dunbar to Matilda Dunbar, May 5, 1897.  Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 1).

After Paul got married, Matilda lived with him and his wife Alice in Washington, D. C. This arrangement was frustrating to Alice, and after about three months she left their home and went to live with her mother and sister in Massachusetts.

I hope you and mother will have a taste of your old happy life while I am gone.  When you wish me back, dear, tell me, and I will come.  You know that I love you.  I am not angry, only hurt, hurt terribly.  It is of no use for me to say I am sorry that I have come into your life and wrecked it so -- I have done it, and I alone am to blame.  If I could atone I would.  I hope mother is not angry at me.  I kissed her goodbye.  I am sorry you both misunderstand my motives and feelings so.
 

Alice Moore Dunbar to Paul Laurence Dunbar, July 9, 1898.  Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 8).

There was also a miserable friction between his mother and myself.  She was with us always, as was right, I suppose, but she resented me generally, because he had always been hers solely.
 

Alice Moore Dunbar to Lida Keck Wiggins, August 7, 1906.  Alice Dunbar-Nelson papers, Special Collections, University of Delaware Library (Newark, Delaware).  MSS 0113, Box 5, F134.

As Paul's first wedding anniversary approached, he had the option to be with his wife Alice in Massachusetts or his mother Matilda in Washington.  He chose his mother.

I want very much to see you and did I follow my inclinations I should be there on the 6th of March.  It is really hard to spend this first anniversary away from you.  But two things hold me at home.  I am worn out with traveling and work, and then I would think it both selfish and mean to leave mother alone in the house any more than I have to.  It is only right that I should think of her sometimes.
 

Paul Laurence Dunbar to Alice Moore Dunbar, March 3, 1899.  Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 8).